


Three Books Aziraphale Hasn't Read and One He Has

by Daegaer



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angels, Bargaining, Books, Demons, Drabble Sequence, Friendship, Humor, M/M, The Arrangement (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-03
Updated: 2007-07-03
Packaged: 2020-04-23 16:05:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19154374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer





	Three Books Aziraphale Hasn't Read and One He Has

"The Gospel of _Judas_?" Aziraphale said witheringly. "No, Crowley, I'll manage without it, thank you very much." He skimmed the parchment rapidly, his expression of distaste growing. " _And_ it's some sort of ghostwritten tripe. Poor old Judas has been dead for _ages_."

"That's why they call it 'ghostwriting'," Crowley offered.

Aziraphale gave him A Look.

"Well, if you don't want it, can I have it?" Crowley asked.

"Whyever not?" Aziraphale said, shoving it at him. "Go on, take it, I don't even want it touching my bookshelves."

Crowley grinned. He was sure he could cause _some_ mischief with this eventually.

 

 

II

 

"Not _another_ copy of the _Malleus Maleficarum_!" Aziraphale cried. "I'll never shift it, I've got multiple copies on my shelves already!"

"Hold on," Crowley said. "You've actually started _selling_ books?"

Aziraphale looked shifty.

"Some books," he admitted. "Books I'm fairly sure _I_ wouldn't ever want to read."

"Why?" Crowley asked. "It's a classic of its kind!"

"The kind that includes badly written stuff-and-nonsense that encourages people to go after little old ladies with too many cats," Aziraphale said.

"Do you care more about the "badly-written" part or the "old woman" part?" Crowley asked, grinning.

Aziraphale carefully didn't answer.

 

 

III

 

"You haven't read _Lady Chatterley's Lover_?" Crowley said in surprise. "Here, have a copy, I've been handing them out all day."

"Thank you, Crowley," Aziraphale said, holding the orange-and-white paperback gingerly. "But I have too many books to read already."

"Are you all right?' Have you got some awful illness?"

"No!" Aziraphale snapped, fending off the lap-blanket Crowley materialized. "It's just not my sort of book."

"Prude," Crowley sniggered.

" _Please_ ," Aziraphale said. "I read racier scenes in cuneiform. It's the bloody twee pet names for his willy I object to."

Honestly, he thought, from the way Crowley laughed you'd think he'd never heard an angel say 'willy' before.

 

IV

 

"I was in Waterstones today," Crowley said. "They're gearing up for that book going on sale."

"What book?" Aziraphale said.

"You know quite well what I'm referring to," Crowley said smugly. "I suppose _you'll_ be staying in that night."

"I most certainly will," Aziraphale sniffed. "I've already read it." He pulled a proof copy from his pocket.

"Give me that," Crowley said, outraged.

"No," Aziraphale smirked, dematerializing it.

Crowley grabbed at his arm. "I'll do all your jobs for the next year! Just tell me if Snape dies!"

"Three years," Aziraphale said coolly.

They got down to bargaining in earnest.


End file.
